NBCUniversal's Cookie Monster: Is Your Privacy Really Being Served?
Okay, let's dive into this steaming pile of "Cookie Notice" from NBCUniversal. Right off the bat, it's the usual corporate word salad, designed to make your eyes glaze over before you even get to the part where they're tracking your every move.
"Like many companies," they say, all innocent-like. As if that makes it okay. As if "everyone's doing it" absolves them of any responsibility for vacuuming up your data. Give me a break. They use "cookies (small text files placed on your computer or device) and other tracking technologies"... They might as well just say "we're watching you" in big, bold letters.
And the different types of cookies? "Strictly Necessary," "Personalization," "Ad Selection and Delivery"... It's like they're trying to gaslight us into thinking this is all for our benefit. "Oh, we're just trying to personalize your experience! We just want to deliver relevant ads!" Yeah, relevant to emptying my bank account, maybe. The worst might be the "Social Media Cookies." So, they can track me outside of their services now? Great.
So, What Can You Actually Do About It?
They offer "Cookie Management" options, which is hilarious. It's like offering someone a tiny bucket to bail out the Titanic. Sure, you can adjust your preferences, but let's be real, who actually does that? Who has the time to wade through all that legal jargon and figure out which settings to tweak on every single browser and device?
And even if you do manage to disable some cookies, they still collect "information...for other purposes, such as research, online services analytics or internal operations." So, they're still watching, just not as closely... maybe. Who knows?
They even provide links to opt-out pages for various analytics and advertising providers. Except, of course, they add the disclaimer: "We are not responsible for the effectiveness of any of these providers’ opt-out mechanisms." In other words, "Good luck with that, sucker."
The Illusion of Choice
It's all an illusion of control. A way for them to say, "Hey, we gave you a choice!" while still raking in the data. We're supposed to feel empowered because we can click a few buttons and maybe, just maybe, slow down the data harvesting machine by a fraction of a percent.
And the "Access Denied" page? The one that pops up if you dare to block their trackers? Pure gold. "We believe you are using automation tools to browse the website." So, wanting to protect my privacy makes me a bot now? If not wanting to be tracked makes me a bot, then sign me up for robot school. It's a badge of honor at this point. Access to this page has been denied. It's a badge of honor at this point.
Maybe I'm just paranoid. Maybe all this data collection is harmless. Then again, maybe I'm not. Maybe we should all be a little more paranoid about who's watching us and what they're doing with our information.
